Gary & Sarah's Story

Before coming to abc ivf, we had been trying to conceive for about five years. We have tried organically for about a year and then decided to start having some tests done through the NHS. They put me on clomid for a little while but then they basically said ‘we’ve done all we can do on the NHS, you’re going to have to go down the IVF route’. We we initially tried a different fertility clinic and to be honest with you, I felt like the first round of IVF was almost like a dummy run because they were finding things out as we went through the cycle. Our first round was emphasised on the women, but then it turned out that Gary had some damage to his sperm, which he then had to take tablets for. We have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility so the umbrella is quite wide which is hard because you never know if you’re going to be a mum and if it’s going to work, but you’ve just got to get on with it.

We felt we were let down by this other clinic, I remember sitting in a meeting room at the fertility centre in tears and they couldn’t give me an answer to my questions. It just felt like they wanted money as they just kept saying ‘let’s do another round’ but without investigating what the problems could be. The rapport is so important when you’re going through treatment and you need to have someone that knows you because we’re all different.

It was actually my dad who came across abc ivf in a newspaper article. At the time, the pandemic had just started and Gary and I were both in the mind set of ‘okay let’s see where it goes’. We joined one of abc’s weekly webinars hosted by their Medical Director, Professor Geeta Nargund, and we thought she was amazing! After our experience with the previous clinic, we were quite worried about going through treatment again, But we managed to arrange a call with who talked us through how treatment at abc would work, and she really put our minds at ease. When going through IVF you are putting so much trust into the clinic, and we know that half of it is luck but it was reassuring to know that abc ivf saw us as people not just statistics, and it was that which made us decide to go ahead with treatment at abc. 

By this point, I had already had 2 previous cycles of IVF so knew what to expect. All the staff were so lovely and supportive though, and and even when lockdown got in the way a bit, we were able to our consultations online which was great for us. We felt really looked after right from the start. We didn’t just feel like customers, we felt like they genuinely wanted the best for us. We just wish we had gone to abc first.  Maybe it still wouldn’t have worked the first time round, but at least we were treated with respect and we felt a lot more was put into investigating the problems and what could be done to improve our chances.

During our initial consultation with abc we took our notes from the previous clinic and the Nurse went through absolutely everything, we couldn’t praise her enough!

We had 3 cycles altogether with abc ivf. On the first cycle we got pregnant but sadly lost it. On the third cycle we collected 11 eggs and did ICSI which resulted in about 4 good quality blastocysts but unfortunately on day 5, we only had one. We felt disheartened, but it was a B+ grade embryo which was promising, and it was! Because now we have our baby boy! On the day of our pregnancy test we came into London on a Friday to do our blood test, but were told that we wouldn’t be able to get the results from the laboratory until Monday. We were absolutely devasted to have to wait that long. But Bex, the Clinic Manager managed to sort it out so that we could get them on the Saturday.

It was Gary who took the call and he burst into tears. I just sat there, I couldn’t believe it. Gary already has two boys from a previous relationship but he knew how important it was to me to have my own child.

I was lucky to have a very easy pregnancy. I was a bit more tired than usual, and I felt the odd kick and moments of slight sickness, but other than that I wouldn’t have known I was pregnant,

It’s now been three weeks since he was born, so we are still getting to know his feeding patterns and getting into a routine.

Life as a parent is not how I thought it would be. Even for Gary, his last child was born 17 years ago, so this was a big wake up call for him!

My advice for anyone thinking of going through IVF is don’t give up. Persevere, but get some help, get counselling as well. I feel like there isn’t enough support out there for women and couples are aren’t able to get pregnant. Having fertility problems change you as a person, you can never go back to who you were before. But being able to talk to women and couples who have been through similar problems is so powerful. You will have days when you think the world has ended and it’s those days when you really need the support. I would also recommend taking some time for yourself and to talk to someone about you, because it’s not just about the baby, you need to be in a space where you feel safe and you can be your true self.

We honestly cannot thank abc ivf enough, and we have already recommended them to lots of our friends!

Gary & Sarah